Chewing Through Bars

          I realize people will probably say that chewing through bars is gonna take a long time, dull your teeth, and be mostly impossible, but I think it might be easier than other things. It only requires one skill: chew. Do you really need pointy teeth? Some things are overrated. I'll bet someone with the skill could make good money, get some TV coverage on Ripley's Believe It or Not (who hasn't seen that show!?); and they would be more famous than most other people. I'm serious! A one skill talent may be the way to go, stretching your abilities beyond moving your mouth could lead to a lot of problems. Weird problems....

         

           I'm taking a watercolor class, and as much fun as I am having, it is kind of stress full. The hardest part is letting go of the control! I can be a control freak, and when the teacher tells me to let the paint do the work; well, lets just say my brush wants to disagree.

          One of the first things we did earlier this semester was about value. We painted from life (eee!). Most of the students did a picture of a mountain, or a group of trees; but nope not me, I Had to be difficult! I chose an old train, and then made sure the trees were behind it (Stupid move). Its hard to let the paint take over when you have to make sure it doesn't go where it isn't aloud to go. 

          Maybe it isn't terrible. It isn't great. But it isn't completely terrible. It totally beat what I did before the class; (ha ha!) those weren't even good enough for a magnet on the fridge. 

          After this project we did something that scared the jivies out of me. A pouring project, no brushing at all. BAH! I couldn't do the first pour, I made the teacher do it. I'm a coward. How is it I can jump off a cliff, ask a complete stranger (AKA Hot Guy) for a motorcycle ride, or take a car for a short flight, but I can't pour a jar of paint!?? Freakin' control issues! 

          

          If I get anything out of this semester, it will be a new set of goodies. I poured! I poured about Seven times. It still creeps up my spine. Courage B. Courage.

          

          The next project was amazing! I got to use the brush!

            Maybe it was the colors, or the design, or maybe it was because I was terrified to screw it up and made it through somehow; I don't know, but I like it (Insert: Mini mental parade).

            Its been a good few days lately. While the teacher tried to play the "paint is in control" card, I was really in control. We combined cross-hatching drawings with watercolor. 

             I love pens. 

          I used the brush, but I didn't smear the paint. Not once. Its all just dropped on there and then the water took over. Did I have control issues? You bet. I had a tiny fit during class where I just let the brush kinda slam into the paper; somehow it worked out afterwards. 

  

          Chewing bars, its a little like watercolor. It takes an amateur a long while to figure out ways around things. Next week I get to paint my sisters face! I'm sure she is going to look lovely. Psych! I was really hoping we would be able to skip this part. 

Note to my sister: If I jack up your portrait, we can always name it after Picasso. He was a professional.  

Making up for a lost day

       My favorite day of the year is Halloween, and I missed it. I had to work ( bleh). So to make up for one of the best parts I decided to carve the pumpkins for Thanksgiving! Plus, we needed a center piece. 

     


       I worked on the turkey while my friend created the cornucopia, talk about brilliant! I must say its the best pumpkin I've done and it puts my halloween pumpkins to shame. It will definitely have to become a tradition! What else are we supposed to do the day before Thanksgiving? Not to mention, its a Wednesday. What do you do on a Wednesday?

      Im not gonna lie, I had to much time last night. I didn't stop with the pumpkins. 

         With all the hoopla and excitement of Christmas in the air I had to build a Graham cracker house. But to not get ahead of the holiday, I kept it in Thanksgiving boundaries. Its a Tee Pee! Mahaha!!  Meet Chief Santa Cinnamon ( he's hot). To ensure the tribe had the appropriate amenities my friend built an outhouse. Cant imagine what it was like before those came around; a time when nobody wants a breeze ( shiver, ewe).  I also created the tragedy next to the tee pee. The gummy bears need a home too! 
       
         Note to self: How do I decide which skills to practice when I want to try it all? This was fun, but....




       Dear Martha Stewart,
              No need to worry. Im not there yet. Though my graham architectural skills may be something to reckon with. 




       
      

Where I Stand Isn't Good Enough

          am-a-teur

     a person considered unskillful at a 

     particular activity.

So this is one of the first masterpieces I ever created. It was kindergarten, I was barely 5 years old, and obviously I was a genius ! At least, thats what Im learning. Check out the detail! The tree has bark, the grass has angles, and the likeness of my brother is spot on! 

Its funny, how people begin to expect so much from each other. Obviously at 5 my skills weren't in high demand, but I can say that not much has changed since then. While I may have taught myself that people don't have bubble fingers or triangle bodies, Im still considered an amateur. 

Amateur. It's a title that eats me alive inside. It took me years to realize I was causing my own demise, forcing myself to be what society expects me to be -  a contradiction of myself. So how does one escape? I can sit behind life's restrictions, follow the rules, be like everybody else...ugh choke! Some people make it on pure talent, the child prodigies ( why can't we be like them?). Others get the paper that says "sure she passed". But is it really enough? I've been back in school for a year, and I really wonder how much the paper matters. I can pass the class, but without something great to go with it, will people notice, will I still be called an amateur? This is the part where I blank, get the chills, and stare. AKA I'm Freaking Out!!

So whats the plan? I have to get over myself. I have to move past my own self doubt. Get over the fear that whatever I do isn't good enough. It could be good enough, it could be better! Or I could just be fooling myself into a good day; which is better than a regular day.